Pamela Kribbe channels Mary

Dear friends,
I am Mary, Mother Mary, as you call me. I am your friend, a fellow lightworker.

I had many lives on Earth and the one in which I was Jeshua’s mother made a tremendous and lasting impact on me as a soul. I am speaking now from the soul level, and as I speak to you, my soul remembers and connects with the lifetime of Mary, mother of Jeshua. In doing so, I connect with the intense suffering I went through from having to witness my son being persecuted and killed. Yet at the same time, because I speak from the soul level, I understand the purpose of this experience for me.

Understanding the meaning behind suffering is liberating for your whole being: for your mind, your heart, your emotions. It sets you free, because the moment you understand the context of your suffering, the suffering transforms itself. Once you have grasped and sensed this potential, it can bring you to a deep inner knowledge about yourself and about life. Instead of seeing it as a painful, negative experience, you start to experience it more as a portal that you go through, similar to the experience of death.

Although it seems to destroy everything you held dear and that gave you a sense of safety and security, after you allow the dying to happen you feel a fresh energy. Something new awakens, and what you felt would actually destroy you, instead creates space for something new. The biggest challenges which bring deep suffering have the potential to bring you back home to yourself – to who you really are – and often to reconnect you with a lost part of yourself, a part of yourself from which you became disconnected.

This is what happened to me in my lifetime as Mother Mary. When I lost my son, I had to deal with deep grief, but also with deep anger and outrage. And at times I was full of hatred because of the injustice and the cruelty. After Jeshua died, I sometimes felt he came to me and I felt his energy around me. He wanted to reassure me, and he told me things happened as they were meant to happen. He said there was meaning behind it all and that I should not waste my energy being angry. When I was angry and accused the world, I was focused on the world outside me instead of being focused on me and how the grief and the suffering was affecting me.

After many months passed, I started to understand how, in fact, both the grief and the anger, the outrage, were wearing me down. They were heavy energies, and I started to lose myself in them. And then the part of me that was more wise, more highly evolved, urged me to go out and be by myself. Out in nature, I would wander and sit down, connect with life, with nature, and slowly I started to be born again. As I mentioned before, I thought everything dear to me had been destroyed, and not just the life of my son, but my hope in humanity, my courage, my optimism. 

Slowly, after just being in silence with my emotions, I started to feel the basic fact of being alive and breathing. I started to feel, from simply observing things, an awareness that was there all the time. Perhaps the best way to describe this kind of awareness is that it was not of this world. At this point, I want to distinguish between two kinds of awareness which are both inside you: an awareness that is in and of this world, and an awareness that is not of this world.

The moment you are born on Earth as a little baby – born into the arms of your mother and surrounded by the energies, the thoughts, and the emotions of your parents and your family – you become immersed in the reality of Earth: the collective consciousness of Earth. You go through a kind of portal and you lose your memory of who you really are beyond this human personality that is being created through the earthly body with its the genetic information, and the influence of your family and the culture in which you are being raised. So, as a little child, the memory of your soul and who you were before you were born fades and you get flooded, bombarded, with new impressions. And that is okay, because the soul wants to immerse itself in this reality. Every time you jump into a new incarnation you are going down under, so to speak, in order to gather new experiences.

The painful thing, however, is that the collective consciousness on Earth, and the way children are taught and raised, does not really allow children to stay connected with their soul, with a deeper awareness of who they are beyond their personality. And so, instead of just gathering new experiences, you sort of drown in this world’s reality, which is still largely based on fear and control. The energy of love is quite rare, because love requires being open to the soul level. Society and the family often exert a kind of pressure on you, out of fear, to become someone you are not: to behave well, to adapt yourself, to be successful, to survive. Genuine love does not do that; it encourages you to explore yourself, your unique being. So the problem is that when there is a lack of love, and a lack of connection with your soul, you lack the foundation, the anchor, so to speak, to integrate and understand your experiences on Earth as a human being.

As a child, you are often still in touch with your soul’s awareness, the part of you that is not of this world. And when you are not encouraged to stay true to this awareness, it becomes harder and harder to integrate and understand painful experiences. Everyone goes through painful experiences, experiences of disappointment, rejection, disillusionment. So the more you can stay in touch, or are in touch, with your soul – the part of you that is not of this world and that was there before you came into this body – the better off you will be. But the more you lose touch with that awareness, the more meaningless and inexplicable the challenges and your suffering seem.

In my case, the death of my son, and my grief, my outrage – the suffering I went through – eventually took me back to an awareness of myself, which was profound and unconditional. By that I mean I started to become aware of my own divine presence, the part of me that transcends time and space, that transcends my earthly personality. I got back in touch with what, at the time, seemed to me to be simply a higher reality, but I would now say was the realm or the perspective of my soul. I started to understand what my son was telling me from the other side. That there was meaning behind all that happened to him, to me, and to the people around us. And I started to slowly understand and forgive.

Later on, I had the feeling that I did not belong to this world,, and at first this feeling was connected with a sense of bitterness and sadness. But after a while it changed and a part of me said: “It’s okay to not belong to this world. There is a part of me that is not of this world and this part is free of it. This free part is actually here to bring in a new awareness, fresh and alive. And this free part is the most creative part of me”. It was one of the most blissful experiences of my life: to experience that kind of freshness and freedom – this awareness of the divine part of me – while being in a human body and alive on Earth.

I started to feel and to understand that I was part of a bigger movement or flow of life. And the flow was about introducing, and bringing to Earth, Christ consciousness. This awareness of compassion and love – that energy – was what my soul had yearned to help bring to Earth. And in order to do that, I had to first learn to open up to that energy myself. So losing my son was not a terrible mistake; it was part of my journey.

At this point, I would like to invite you to connect with your own challenges and the suffering you feel around them. Often there are challenges in your life which make you suffer, because you do not understand why they are there and so you are not able to resolve them. I am inviting you to choose one particular issue, or challenge, or problem you face. It might be something in the present, or something in the past, that you still think about a lot, that still absorbs your energy so just focus on this particular challenge. Feel your emotional pain, and your struggle with it, and look at it with kindness. Do not admonish yourself about it, just see your struggle.

See tthe issue itself, which may be an illness or a relationship issue, it may be a lack of inspiration or not finding the right job, or it may be not feeling loved or appreciated and lonely. Focus on what bothers you the most and then distinguish between the pain and your emotional reaction to it, because when you suffer, you somehow feel you are a victim. You somehow feel that something is happening to you that Is not right, that should not have happened, and that you did not deserve. Ask yourself if you have this reaction to your own pain.

As I mentioned before, I faced the challenge of losing my son, that was my issue, and my reaction initially was one of deep sadness, grief, and also outrage and anger. That was my reaction to it and it involved a kind of victimhood: accusing the world outside me, or life, or even God, of inflicting pain on me that I felt I did not deserve. Now, fully direct your attention to this emotional reaction, this kind of secondary pain. There is the primary pain that is about the issue itself, the loss or lack of something or the pain itself, and then there is the secondary pain that is about feeling unjustly treated and feeling like a victim. 

Focus entirely on the heavy energy associated with this feeling. It is also a feeling of confusion, of not understanding why it happened or why it is happening. And it is okay to have this reaction, to have these feelings. You are a human being and it is okay to be confused. So be kind to yourself; however, do not cling to the feeling of sadness, or anger, or even confusion. Do not get attached to these emotions, because they keep you from the truth. You can get attached to strong emotions, such as sadness, bitterness, and hatred, because they somehow fill a void inside you. When you are in deep pain, you need to feel sadness, anger, or grief for a while. However, if you cling to the emotion you do not allow the next step — a necessary step — to take place, which is: moving into an awareness that goes beyond who you thought you were.

I talked about the experience of “dying”, of going through a portal, and it involves letting go of this secondary pain, this reaction of disbelief, outrage, and being a victim. And how do you go beyond the reaction? By becoming very quiet inside and seeing how these energies wear you down; how this persistent struggle with life drains you. When you fight with life and what it brings to you, in the end, you waste your energy. You beome drained and tired from fighting.

I am reaching out to you now. Take my hand and let me take you to a place of quiet stillness, of solitude, but which is the kind of solitude that lifts you up out of your mind, out of this circle of emotions inside you which continually repeat themselves. Let it be. Disconnect and feel there is another level, another awareness, with which you now connect. And this awareness is very open; it is open like a space around you. Breathe into this space; breathe into the space of you: the you that you were before you were born; the you that you will be after you die. Breathe in the divine and spacious and free you. You are not determined, you are not defined, by the experiences that happened to you in your life. You are a free being; you are a creator. You are much more powerful than you think you are.

Invite your soul to come close to you, and feel your soul’s presence. Your soul is a fountain of life, full of creativity and strength, full of courage. Your soul is an explorer, and so there is a great amount of wisdom inside you by having gone through many lifetimes on Earth. Open your heart and be kind to yourself. Open up to your strength, your wisdom, the joy of life that is at the core of your soul’s fountain, your soul’s fire. 

Remember who you are. You are not of this world, you are a temporary visitor. You are free as a bird. Feel and see your angel wings. And now, as an angel, release the heavy energies of this world and connect back to your heart, to the love inside you, to your love of life. And while you feel the freedom, the joy, and the love of who you really are, go back to this challenge you are experiencing in your everyday life and look at the energy of struggle and confusion and victimhood around it. But now look at it from the soul’s perspective, and tell yourself: “Let’s step out of this heavy energy that wears me out”.

Consider the possibility that this suffering is a portal. Imagine that you go through this portal now, through this “death” experience. You let go of expectations you had of what life would be like – you let be what is. It is bringing you something that you did not expect. The part of you that is in this world and of this world, and heavily influenced by ideas, images, expectations of what life should be like, let this part surrender to what comes next from beyond the portal. You allow this very painful experience to be a gateway to something new and precious. And you begin to feel that on the other side of the portal is something beautiful and powerful waiting for you.

You are a very creative soul. You created this experience, this painful experience, for yourself because you wanted to embody a greater part of you, of your true self, here on Earth. You wanted to reunite with that greater part of you – your full light, your radiance, your wisdom – while being in this body, while being right here, right now. Allow this greater part of yourself to come down to you, to flow into you, into your body, into your mind, your brain, into your heart, into your abdomen, into your emotions, into your entire physical being. Allow in your soul’s presence.

There is meaning behind the situations which are happening in your life and the people you meet. Whenever you feel at a loss about why life is unfolding a certain way, go to this space of freedom, of joy, in your heart. It is the part of you that does not belong to this world, but that does have tremendous gifts, that has light to share with this world. You are a lightworker soul. You are not here to fit in, you are a pioneer. Remember the divine part, the divine you:the angel with wings.

Bless you for your courage. And thank you for being with me today. I am with you always. We are connected through a field of Oneness that is overflowing with joy and light.

© Pamela Kribbe

Translation by Maria Baes and Frank Tehan

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