Fear as doorway to the unknown
 

Pamela channels Mary – June 2010

This channeling is also available as audio file. The transcript has been edited for purposes of readability.

Dear friends,

I am Mary, mother of Jeshua.  I am here to reach out to you and bring to you the female aspect of the Christ energy. It is direly needed for most of you right now.  You are going through a deep process of transformation.

There’s a large group of lightworkers on Earth right now and they have partly awakened, partly remembered who they are.  In fact one can distinguish between three groups of lightworkers, or three stages in which they may find themselves in this transformation process.

The first group of lightworkers has not awakened yet. They do not yet realize who they are and they feel very lost and lonely because of that. They feel different, yes, they feel like they’re not fitting into human society. They feel alone and alienated from mainstream society. These people are suffering. They think they are failing. Often they are highly sensitive. They are dreamers, like all of you: dreaming of another world, even remembering it, from the depth of their soul, but unable to connect the dream with everyday reality. So they withdraw and live in their inner world. Because their light does not radiate outward, they feel unhappy and even suffocated.

Then there’s another group of lightworkers, who are starting to remember who they are. Slowly they remember their true strength, the fact that they are really angels, who have incarnated into a human body to bring light on earth. This light is so much needed right now. As soon as you realize that you are an eternal soul, not bound to the material realm, you gain in strength. You may still feel different, an outsider, but now you feel connected to another world, a world of beauty and harmony. This is your home, the world you truly come from. If you know that, you need not any longer feel alone. Today we wish to remind you of the energy of home.

The ones I am speaking to in this channeling, the people who will hear this channeling, are part of the group of lightworkers who have awakened, who already have connected to their true self, their soul. They know they are here for a reason, they know they’re here to make a difference on Earth. We bless you for this intention, this yearning to bring light on Earth and we know how difficult it is to be true to your self in the midst of a reality that seems hostile to the kind of energy you bring in.

There is yet another group of lightworkers, a third group. We may call them the ‘senior lightworkers’. These are the ones who have been in the process of awakening for a long time. They have been working on themselves for years, some even decades, and they have gone through many different stages of inner transformation. They know what it is like to change on the inner level, to become aware of deep-seated emotional burdens and negative beliefs. They have experienced what it is like to release one’s old identity and open up to a new one, closer to their true nature.  Many of you hearing or reading this message are part of this third group of lightworkers. You feel very old inside. You have gone through a lot, both in this lifetime and in many previous ones. In our eyes, you are revered for your courage and depth of wisdom. You are the treasures of the Earth, even if you feel old and weary. It is you who we are speaking to in particular.

You have in your life processed a lot on the emotional level. You have allowed fear and other difficult emotions to come to the surface of your consciousness, to be looked into the eye and thereby to be released. You have had spiritual experiences along your path, sensations of bliss in which you were melded into oneness with All-That-Is. Many of you have already started your life’s work of being a teacher and healer for others on their spiritual path. You are in your everyday life practicing the light work that you intended to do as a soul.

I am addressing you who are in this third group of lightworkers today, and I am also addressing you who are in the second group. There is not a fixed line between the two groups; there’s a gradual development from one to the other. There’s no point in pondering too long which group you are a part of; we’re not administering grades here. The most important thing is to recognize yourself as one who is committed heart and soul to this process of inner growth. I mean to explain to all of you why this process of awakening can seem so difficult at times.

You see, spiritual growth or evolution does not proceed along a linear way. It’s not like there’s a stairway that you climb step by step. Growth and evolution occur in cycles. Take for instance the cycle of day and night. During the night you submerge into your subconscious. The relative darkness of the subconscious presents itself as dreams which take you out of the ordinary, out of what is known to you. It thereby enables you to go deep within, and to discover feelings and emotions inside that do not easily show themselves during waking hours. During the daytime, you are gathering experiences as you are participating in Earth reality. The night draws you within and helps you face emotional energies you weren’t aware of during the day.

The cycle of day and night enables you to integrate experiences on a deeper level than the mind. There is growth occurring because of this alternation, even if you don’t remember your dreams. This growth occurs in ever repeating cycles, and it is the same with spiritual growth. You to whom I speak know what it is to go within, to address old emotional pain and fear and to let go of it. You know what it is like to be submerged in old pain and feel the joy of releasing it, feeling more free and powerful afterwards. You to whom I speak are advanced; you have progressed far, but still, even then, after daytime nighttime comes. New layers of un-consciousness want to be seen, addressed and released. At this time, many of you are in the midst of a ‘dark night’ that summons to the surface a very deep layer of fear that wants to be seen in daylight. It wants to be released in order for you to shine your light upon the world even more brightly and peacefully.

In your life, you are influenced by your own personal cycles of development, depending on your age, gender and soul agreements. You are however also influenced by broader energy currents, which have to do with processes that the Earth, and humanity, as a whole are involved in. There are energy currents at work in this time, which propel old and dark energies to the surface in a pace that may seem relentless if you do not trust the process. Humanity as a whole is not prepared for the release of the old energy that now comes to the surface. The majority of people do not know how to handle deep emotional pain and the destructive energy that may result from it. You are adept at this. Still, it may overwhelm you as well. You may feel submerged into layers of yourself which seem utterly unmanageable and alien to you. You may seem to go crazy. Perhaps you thought you had already dealt with the majority of issues that were on your plate in this life, and now another layer of fear or darkness is banging on your door, one you did not expect. You may feel indignant about it, feel that you have processed enough and are ready to move on to a lighter life. This new pit of darkness may seem too hard to deal with.

I am here today to tell you not to lose heart and to keep faith in your journey. You are now entering a stage of your development in which you can no longer control your growth. The area of consciousness expansion that you are entering is about surrendering and letting go. It’s not about doing certain exercises or visualizations, following a certain diet, or pursuing any discipline through which you seek to control life.  It is impossible to control the huge wave of energy that now wants to flow through your being.

Your soul wants to lift you up to this flow of energy because it is aware that it is a good flow. However, your human personality is not able to see where it is leading up to. The human mind cannot understand where the flow of the soul is heading towards, so therefore you may feel desperate and out of tune with your intuition, your passion and general sense of direction. If this is how you feel, please know that you’re not doing anything wrong. This sense of disorientation and chaos is always there when you are about to make a new start. Truly new beginnings are always preceded by a period of chaos and crisis. The new cannot enter before the old falls apart. You thought you had already let go of so much, and now you have to let go of even more. Please be aware this is a meaningful process even if it doesn’t seem so. Try to remain in a space of trust and surrender, because that way you align yourself with the flow of your soul and you make the ride a bit easier for yourself.

You are the teachers. You bring in the new energy on earth right now, even if you feel you are in the dark, even if you feel down, depressed and don’t have a clue where you are going.  You are doing the light work that you came for. Light work often means that you travel into the night, into the darkest corners of your soul, not knowing what will happen. You travel through the dark without guidelines or a map to steer by. You are thrown into the darkness and all you can really do is surrender to the experience and trust that you will get through it and that it will have meaning.

As soon as you come out of the darkness and back into daylight again, you will understand the meaning of your journey, not simply with your mind but with your heart. Always, the dark holds a treasure for you. Dark emotions are hidden parts of you that want to reunite with you. The negativity you encounter in yourself is a part of your energy that got stuck, that could not move for a long time. Please understand that as a soul you have had many, many lifetimes, on Earth as well as in other places in the universe. Now that your cycle of lifetimes on Earth is nearing its completion, the most anguished parts of your soul, which got stuck in very different lifetimes, come to you in the present era for release and liberation. Often you do not understand where all the emotional trauma comes from. But in the end it’s always about the same thing. It is about fear wanting to be addressed by you. The fear wants to be looked into the eye and it wants to be welcomed. It is a part of you and a valid part indeed. Fear is part of the duality game you are playing in this corner of the universe.

If you could just let it be, if you would not fear your own fear, you would see that it is harmless. That may seem a strange thing to say, because fear can so deeply uproot you. But fear is harmless. It is innocent like a child. Fear is simply a response to the unknown. If a child faces something it doesn’t know yet, it often reacts with fear: it has to get used to the new. It has to explore it, get comfortable with it and learn to trust it. Fear is innocent really; it’s quite understandable to not feel at home directly with what you do not yet know. There’s nothing wrong with fear. However, if you place judgment on it, if you feel uncomfortable with fear and reject it, then it becomes this large dark thing, a demon that terrorizes and paralyses you against your will. Don’t make fear your enemy, because then you make it into a dark and alien power. Fear in itself is not dark; it is simply the emotional response of feeling unsettled by something different and new.

Dear friend, you are wise. From your deepest core, where you are Spirit, where you are shining light, eternal and lovely, reach out to the fear that is inside of you. You are much larger and stronger than your fear. You can reach out to it, like you would with a child, and tell it that it is safe with you, that you do not fear it, that you do not fear your own fear. Do not try to get rid of it, because the intention to eliminate fear holds judgment in it. The fearful part of you will get more fearful if you take up battle with it, for then it gets the message that it is no good and that it is unworthy.

Please understand that fear is a necessary element in the universe. Otherwise it would not be possible to explore and experience something new. Fear marks the boundary between what feels safe and familiar to you and what doesn’t. Beyond that frontier there is something new which you do not yet understand or have not yet experienced. If you could look at fear in that way, you would release your judgment about it and it would even hold the potential of joy, because fear promises you a new land to discover, a new place for your light to shine on. So trust fear, let it be your light! If there’s a situation in your life that gives rise to fear, just notice it. Shine the light of your consciousness on your fear. The fear will not dissolve immediately, but if you do not look upon it as a frightening energy, you will relax more and thereby open yourself to the possibility that there’s a hidden treasure inside the fear.

You know, fear will always be there, it is part of creation. Even if you are highly evolved, there is always an element of the unknown that wants to be explored. If this would not be so, the universe would stagnate and lose its vitality and aliveness. It would be like living in a beautiful, lovely country that you truly enjoy and resonate with, however it is not possible to go outside of it, to go beyond its boundaries. You would never be able to explore new land. Would this give you the deepest fulfillment in the long run? Now, I know you know yourselves well enough to realize that you love to explore the new. You are adventurous spirits, all of you. Therefore, please don’t condemn your fear, for ultimately it is part of the adventurous, exploring part of you. Fear shows you where there’s new land to discover. Once you travel this new land, holding the hand of fear, you will experience beauty and joy that exceed your present comprehension. The secret is: you can never know beforehand what you will discover; otherwise it wouldn’t be new to you.

So the delightful experience of venturing into the new, having new and ever deeper experiences of love, beauty and joy, can only occur if you accept the reality of fear, which is nothing else than the reality of the unknown, that which lies beyond the horizon of your current knowledge and experience.  Welcome the fear inside, even if it seems irrational and you don’t know the cause. Much fear inside you comes from very ancient parts of you, other lifetimes which are far behind in time. Even they hold the promise of a new understanding, something you did not yet discover. Perhaps there’s an experience there of being violently rejected which you are afraid of and don’t want to feel. However, if you would not fear the experience, if you would allow yourself to feel what it is like to be violently rejected, let the emotion come to the surface, you would feel compassion with yourself and understand why certain things are difficult for you know. You would forgive yourself for it and not judge yourself so harshly anymore. The experience of self-forgiveness is an enlightening one. So, if you allow yourself to embrace an experience that seems awful on the outside, if you go through it with trust and no judgment, then this experience might become an enlightening one, even a joyful one. It might enable you to taste the liberation and relaxation that go with self-acceptance. This is how flexible the universe is, how flexible experience is.

If you are experiencing fear in your life, know that right on the other side of it is so much potential for experiencing love, beauty and joy. It is not far away. As I mentioned, spiritual growth is not a linear process, in which you release a little bit of fear in every step. Rather, the fear builds and builds and then reaches a climax, which probably turns your life into crisis, and you feel unable to deal with everyday life anymore. At that point, you are being confronted with your fear head-on; you can no longer suppress it or get around it. It is flowing through you and you are losing control. It seems that at this point, you are defeated. The dam breaks and you cannot keep the water out. This may seem disastrous, but it is not!

The fear wants to break open gates that have closed you down, that have imprisoned you. The fear wants to flow through you, and if you flow with it, it will bring you to another reality, much more liberating than the one you’re living in right now. So if you feel that your fear is uncontrollable, if you can make no sense of it, congratulations! J This is where you want to be. You are right on the threshold of the new and you are very close to a breakthrough.

Let it be, let the fear be, don’t struggle. Don’t think: ”what have I done wrong? Has everything I have done on my spiritual path been in vain? Why do I feel completely lost, was I mistaken?” This is mind chatter. This is the mind trying to make sense of something that cannot be grasped by the mind. Your soul knows what it is doing. It wants you to release pain on a deep level and this will happen if you trust and do not try to control it. The more you align with your soul, the less you can have control over life, and you know what? This is so liberating! Letting go brings in the new, brings in the beautiful and refined energy of the unrepressed You. Fear is the gateway to a higher version of you, wanting to incarnate on present day earth.

I am asking you to have respect for your own inner process, even if it seems to lead you into darkness, even if all logic to it seems to have vanished. Always keep open the possibility that you are not able to understand it from your present state of mind, that you need not understand it, and that the meaning of it will be revealed later. Open up to the larger reality of your soul, be the explorer of consciousness that you truly are and that you want to be!

We bless you for embracing the adventure of being on Earth at this time of change and upheaval. You are courageous; you are in love with life, even if you feel depressed and lonely. If you did not have that love for life, you would not be here, right now.

We are close to you. I represent the mother energy of Christ consciousness. Feel yourself enveloped by it. Perhaps you see it as a soft shining pink, a playful, yet very tender energy, gentle and soft. Allow it into your energy space, it can bring you healing. And by healing I do not mean “taking away your fear”, I mean accepting it, accepting it as the doorway to another reality, a more loving and light reality.

Be yourself, simply be yourself. Do not try to change yourself. You are already perfect. You are lovely. We see you, and recognize your struggle. We have much respect and honor for you. Please allow my energy to comfort you. I do not want to change anything inside of you. I just want you to look at yourself in a different way. Even in the midst of your struggle you are an angel. You are beautiful.

Remember: after every night, a new day will come. The sun will shine again. It is inevitable. It is life resuming its natural course.  Just like you cannot prevent the night from falling, you cannot prevent the day from coming. So, allow yourself to go through that motion and you will find yourself in a splendid new day-break.

By undertaking this journey within, you are helping many people on Earth, who are trying to find their inner road to freedom. You are paving the way for other lightworkers, who are in the beginning stages of their awakening, and they in turn will help people who are becoming more sensitive, wanting to open up to the reality of their soul.

We thank you for your work, your light work on Earth right now. You are never alone. We are joining you from the other side, please accept our love.  It is our greatest joy to remember you of who you are.


 
© Pamela Kribbe 2010

www.jeshua.net


- The Jeshua channelings are available in book form. - 

- "The Lightworker Series" is also available as audio book. -



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